Often survivors talk of missing the person they were before the abuse started. One of the few, precious gifts of growing up in an emotionally and physically abusive household is getting the opportunity to decide who you want to be and how you want to get there in adulthood, and start down that path with fresh purpose. Part of that, for me, has meant transitioning into the man I needed in my life as a child. The rest has been like growing succulents, picking up dropped leaves and planting them somewhere they can grow into their own.

My goal with this page is to show the process, including where I've messed up, the plants that have withered or never taken root at all. I aim to leave behind a garden that other survivors can visit, taking what they need from it and hopefully finding something that resonates there.

For anyone who enjoys the new Medium screen reader, you can also find my essays on SoundCloud, usually at least a week in advance of publication here.

If you like my work and want to leave a tip, I have a Ko-Fi page with updates on all of my pieces and information about any new projects.

Please feel free to comment any questions, feedback, or food for thought you may have.

As I close out, let me ask for one small favor. Take good and gentle care of yourself today. We need you here, and part of that means being well-rested and tended to so you can fight again tomorrow.